We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Success! We fucked roommates!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
