I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
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