I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We have so much sex to catch up on
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
