Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
