I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
