If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
