11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
your thong is hanging out like whoa
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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