Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We need to get me chipped asap
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
