Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I got her a Nickelback box set.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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