I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
that is very illegal...i love you.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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