She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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