i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
