Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
