Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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