k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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