Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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