You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
