dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
