My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There r osticjed everywhere
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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