I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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