Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
More tranny stories later!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
