just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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