she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
