Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
