I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
