vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
