Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
