Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
