MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
