we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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