Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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