I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
there's paper in my vomit.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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