This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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