i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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