you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
