It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
