We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
