The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
