This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
