Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
