Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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