my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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