plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
