At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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