His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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