You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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