I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
