We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
