If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The adults are the big ones right?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
