Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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