just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
is it fun? or sober?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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